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(Thanks to Arlene Stewart of North Carolina LDA) |
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Dear Rick, I attended your recent session in New Mexico and really enjoyed it! As a Regular Education teacher, I truly try to stay abreast of the latest developments in Special Education. What a fast-moving field! I am diligent about reviewing the assessment files of the mainstreamed students in my classes. At times, I find that reading these reports is akin to swimming in mud! Very confusing! One problem is the number of initials or acronyms that are used! IEP! OT! PT! LEA! LRE! Are all of these terms necessary? I know that you are an important person in the field. Can't you convince your Special Education colleagues to eliminate this Alphabet Soup from their reports? Annie |
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Dear Annie, Sorry. Not a chance! Special Ed-ers will never surrender their acronyms . . . you will have to "pry their cold, dead hands" from their beloved alphabet! But . . . maybe I could help by providing a list of the most commonly-used acronyms that you may find in assessment reports. I have also provided definitions for the terms that are not self-explanatory - ADA Americans
with Disabilities Act Hope this helps. VTY, |
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Dear Rick, My son, Zack, is in the third grade and his teacher has suggested that he might have an Attention Deficit Disorder because he has trouble paying attention and is very distractible. It is hard for me to believe this because none of his brothers have ADD and Zack has never had trouble in school before. My sister-in-law is a nurse and she told me that there are several medical conditions that have ADD-like symptoms and these are often misdiagnosed as ADD. Can you help? Anna |
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Dear Anna, Your sister-in-law is right! There are several medical conditions that "mask" themselves as ADD. It is always a good idea to have your pediatrician examine your son to be sure that none of these conditions exist. Most experts in the field of Special Education concur that ADD is currently being over-diagnosed in many quarters. This is particularly troubling in situations wherein the child's behavior is misdiagnosed as ADD and he received treatment for this condition . . . when, in reality, the child has a significant medical condition that goes untreated. Among most common "ADD masks" are:
Sincerely, |
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Dear Rick, I hope that you can help me. I am furious at my school system. My second grade child, Bonnie, is having trouble in her reading class. She was one of the best readers in her first grade and her teacher told me that she was able to read some third grade words. This year, she doesn't like her reading class and never reads her books at home anymore. I think that she has a Learning Disability and I want to call a lawyer to be sure that Bonnie's rights are protected. What do you suggest? Linda |
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Dear Linda, I suggest that you switch to decaf!! Seriously, Linda, it is much too early to secure the services of an attorney. You should try to work closely and cooperatively with your school system before you consider "taking the gloves off". Bonnie is protected by the law and the regulations are very specific. You should first speak to her teacher and possibly arrange for Bonnie to be assessed . . . but I see no reason to seek legal counsel at this stage. Nancy Knisley, a Maryland educational consultant, suggests guidelines for parents who are considering hiring an attorney for a special education issue: YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED AN ATTORNEY IF . . .
YOU MAY NEED TO CONSULT AN ATTORNEY IF . . .
YOU DO NEED AN ATTORNEY IF . . .
If you do decide to seek counsel, I advise that you contact an attorney who has background and experience in Education Law. This is a complex and specialized area of the profession. Unfortunately, parents and school systems often invest significant monies in litigation and legal skirmishes. It is always in the CHILD'S best interest that the parents and schools work cooperatively with one another in the design and implementation of a student's program. It is so important that we all "try to get along". In the Conference Room at Riverview, we hung a sign that states an ancient African Proverb. "When elephants fight, it's the grass that gets trampled." In other words, when the adults in a child's life are in conflict . . . it is the CHILD who is ultimately hurt. Due Process is a legal procedure and you may need professional counsel to traverse this road. But - first - try to settle matters with cooperation and collaboration. Good luck to you . . . and Bonnie. Sincerely, |
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I once knew a family from Long Island. This particularly close-knit group consisted of Mom, Dad and three boys. Tim and Terry were twins and their brother Stephen was five years their junior. The year 1973 found this family happy and prosperous. Dad's business was doing well and the family enjoyed plentiful resources. Mom found the house to be quite lonely as the twins were sophomores at Holy Cross and Northwestern and Steve was attending a "special education" school in Massachusetts. Steve had a severe learning disability and his neighborhood school wasn't able to provide an adequate program. Although he missed his family, he was delighted to leave behind the frustration and anxiety that he experienced daily in his local school. The specialized boarding school was able to meet his unique needs. Unfortunately, the year 1974 was not kind to the family. Dad's business experienced major unforeseen difficulties and he was forced to sell the company at a great financial loss. The family had to give up many of the comforts and luxuries that they had enjoyed. The parents knew that they would be unable to afford the tuition bills that were looming in the fall. After much discussion between themselves, Mom and Dad agreed not to interrupt the twins' college education. Rather they would withdraw Steve from the Massachusetts program and return him to the local school. They elected not to discuss this with their sons and made the announcement in August, a few weeks before the beginning of school. The twins were confused by the decision, but left on Labor Day for their respective colleges. Meanwhile, the parents tried to assist a disappointed Steve as he made a difficult transition to his old school. On a mid-September Saturday morning, Dad answered an unexpected knock at the front door. There on the porch stood Tim and Terry, suitcases in hand. They had been conducting lengthy, long-distance conversations together and they had figured out the scenario. Each of the boys went to his college advisor and applied for a one-year leave of absence. They returned home with plans to work for a year and apply their salaries to Steve's tuition at the Massachusetts program. Through years of exposure to the true definition and implementation of "fairness," they were able to apply it in a most meaningful way. Rick |
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Dear Rick, My eight year old, Trevor, was recently diagnosed with a Learning Disability. Although we were upset by the diagnosis, we finally understand the reasons for his failure in school and his anxiety. We are now working to get him the academic help he needs. Interestingly, my question for you does not pertain to our son but to our 13 year old daughter, Brooke. She is very successful in school and has never had a particularly good relationship with her younger brother. However, his diagnosis seems to be very upsetting for her and she continually talks about it and asks questions. In order to protect her brother's privacy, we have told her that it is "none of her business". Were we right? Brenda |
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Dear Brenda, NOPE! Brooke needs information about her brother's condition and you should provide it. One of my most popular seminars is entitled, "LIFE ON THE WATERBED: The Learning Disabled Child at Home and in the Family". I use the waterbed analogy thusly: "A family of five is like five people lying side-by-side on a waterbed . . . when ONE person moves, EVERYONE feels the ripple." If one member of the family is experiencing significant difficulty in his/her life, ALL family members are directly or indirectly effected. You don't just have a special needs child; you now have a special needs FAMILY. As a Mom, you often become frustrated with the behavior or actions of your Learning Disabled child. This frustration and anger, unfortunately, occasionally manifests itself in yelling, pouting, crying or withdrawing. However, if Brooke reacts to Trevor this way, she may well be punished or scolded. This response is unfair and it only serves to rock that waterbed! Larry Silver's classic work, THE MISUNDERSTOOD CHILD, outlines some of the reactions that parents might see from siblings of kids with special needs. Those reactions include: ANXIETY: Children often become unnerved and anxious when the parents fail to share information about their sibling's condition. They know that Mom and Dad are worried about their brother and that they are visiting doctors for help. The sibling begins to imagine myriad diseases and conditions that might afflict their sibling . . . and these imaginings are generally worse than the reality. Of course, they also worry about how this "mystery disease" will effect THEM. You can avoid all this by providing the sibling with clear, understandable, age-appropriate information about his sibling's problem. ANGER: The sibling may have difficulty understanding the seeming "double standard" that exists in your family and he may resent it. He may not understand - or accept - why his brother has modified chores or receives significant parental help with homework. This resentment often manifests itself in anger or jealousy. The child simply cannot understand the disproportionate amount of time, energy and resources that the Learning Disabled sibling receives. Anger may also be a by-product of the inevitable teasing and hassling that the nondisabled sibling receives by schoolmates. Siblings of special needs kids are often embarrassed by the behaviors of their sibs. Parents often exacerbate this situation by insisting that the disabled child accompany the sibling to neighborhood and school activities. GUILT: This anger often morphs into guilt. The nondisabled sibling may feel guilty that he is unable to establish a relationship with his brother. He may also feel guilty that learning is so easy for him - and so challenging for his sibling. ACTING OUT: The nondisabled sibling may provoke or tease the Learning Disabled child or use him as a scapegoat. The sibling is frustrated and angry about his brother's condition and he is continually told that he cannot show his feelings . . . so he seeks "revenge" in this way. He begins to take a degree of satisfaction in the turmoil that he can cause by provoking his brother. COVERING UP SUCCESS: This interesting sibling reaction is quite common. The nondisabled sibling may feel guilty about his success in school and may actually cover it up. I spoke to a young lady once who told me that she did not attend her Senior Prom because her disabled brother - two years older than she - did not attend his prom ... and she did not want to pass that milestone before he did. That is an admirable - but troubling - reaction. Oftentimes, parents will minimize the academic successes of the nondisabled child in order to spare the feelings of the Learning Disabled sibling. This is a mistake. ALL kids deserve and require encouragement and praise for the accomplishments. And the child with a Learning Disability must learn to cope with the reality of this. None of the above feelings can be avoided. They are natural childhood reactions. But the impact and severity of the reaction can be minimized by providing Brooke with factual explanations about the nature and needs of Trevor's problem. You may want to refer to the October, 1999 ASK RICK column (via Archives) for some tips on explaining Learning Disabilities to kids at various ages. However, the ultimate success of a special needs family is dependent upon their ability to understand and embrace the concept of FAIRNESS. Read the next question/answer for more information. Best, |
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Dear Rick, As the parent of a boy with a severe Learning Disability, I constantly deal with accusations from his brothers that I am "unfair" because of the extra attention that he gets. I also find myself arguing with teachers who say that they can't modify their expectations for Sean because "it's not fair to the other kids". On your video, HOW DIFFICULT CAN THIS BE?, you address the concept of FAIRNESS. Could you give me more information on this? Jacqueline |
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Dear Jacqueline, Gladly! The juggling of "fairness" and "equality" presents a never-ending conundrum for parents and few of us realize that these concepts are not synonymous . . . in fact they often are total opposites. The classic work in moral development conducted by Laurence Kohlberg at Harvard University indicates that children, in the initial stages of moral development, define "fairness" thusly: Fairness means that everyone gets the same. Unfortunately, in many households, children have convinced their parents that the above definition is the true and accurate one. Consider: How many fathers would return from a business trip bearing a gift for only one child? How often do you resist the temptation to purchase a special gift for one child because you fear the wrath of the siblings who receive nothing? At Christmas do you carefully compute and monitor each child's gift list to ensure that all receive the identical number of gifts? If this sounds familiar, you should understand that you are applying the concept of "fairness" at the level of a seven- or eight-year-old child. In actuality, the definition of fairness has little to do with treating people in an identical manner. The true definition of fairness is: Fairness means that everyone gets what he or she needs. Consider the following analogy: The readership of this column is 9,500 families. Suppose a magnanimous philanthropist were to give the editors a grant of $9.5 million and ask that the funds be distributed equally to the readership. Each family would receive a check for $1000. That's easy. However, if he were to request that the funds be divided fairly among the readership, that would require a far more complex and diverse distribution. The editors would be bound to consider the financial needs of each member family. Suppose one family with a chronically-ill child and limited financial resources were postponing much-needed therapy for the youngster. Fairness would dictate that the family would receive a disproportionate amount of the donated funds. Fairness and equality are not synonymous. What impact does all of this have upon parenting? Parents must realize that, in order to be fair to their children, each child must be treated differently. We must recognize their unique patterns of strengths and needs. In the life of a family, there will be times when the needs of one family member become paramount. In order to be fair, the parent must react to those needs by investing a disproportionate amount of time, energy and resources in that child. Parents should not become guilt-ridden about this situation, but allot their energies based upon the children's needs. Parents should feel secure in the fact that the "offended" siblings will, at some time in the future, also require some extra effort in order to meet their unique needs. In order for this "fairness doctrine" to work effectively, the parent must also understand the difference between "need" and "want". Stephen Glenn, noted author and parenting expert, helps us understand this delineation in the following dialogue between a mother and her 14-year-old daughter: D: Mom, I need a pair of stone-washed Guess How designer jeans. I need $55. M: Nope, I have checked your closet and I agree that you NEED a pair of jeans. However, you WANT a pair of designer jeans. I will gladly provide you with what you NEED. Please accept this check for $35 which will buy you the jeans that you NEED. If you WANT the designer jeans badly enough, I am sure that you will find some way to add $20 to my $35. In summary, parents who go to great lengths to see that they give each of their children the identical amount of energy, time and resources are probably being unfair to all of them. Let us celebrate the unique strengths, goals, needs and personalities of each of our children. |
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Dear Rick, I heard you speak in Texas last month and I really enjoyed your presentation. During your talk you stated your opposition to the Total Inclusion Movement. I agree. The other day, our school's principal began using a new term . . . RESPONSIBLE INCLUSION. What does that mean and how does this differ from the Total Inclusion Model? Joanne in El Paso |
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Dear Joanne, The two concepts are significantly different! The term "Responsible Inclusion" is not really new. Sharon Vaughn from the University of Miami has been using the term - and promoting the concept - since 1995. "Responsible Inclusion" is a concept that arose from the perceived failure of Total Inclusion. The Responsible Inclusion movement has drawn from the laudatory goals of Total Inclusion and the "best practices" of the Mainstream movement. This hybrid provides - I feel - the maximum success for kids with Learning Disabilities. The differences between Responsible Inclusion and Total Inclusion are significant. Unlike Total Inclusion, a Responsible Inclusion program meets the following criteria:
Responsible Inclusion has been successful in schools nationwide and it has improved the lot of thousands of special learners. I once had an argument with a rabid Total Inclusionist. She growled, "I hate the term Responsible Inclusion. It implies that people with my belief are IRresponsible." She said it . . . not me! Best, |
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After reviewing the letters that I have been receiving over the past several weeks, I decided to depart from our usual question-and-answer format in this month's column. The overwhelming majority of questions that I have received recently have been sent from teachers who are anxious about the opening of the school year. Their requests centered on strategies to get the year off to the best possible start in their classrooms. Those of your who are familiar with my work - particularly the How Difficult Can This Be? workshop and video - know that I believe in the importance of relating to and understanding the children we serve. This is no easy task. You see, there exists a great and significant irony in the field of Special Education. That is: "Most of us who teach every day, ENJOYED going to school when we were kids . . . and most of us did pretty well there." Consider. Common sense would dictate that few adults would choose to make a living in an environment that s/he feared or abhorred. Most teachers enjoyed their school experience and found the classroom to be a haven for learning, sharing and friendships. Most special education students view "A Place Called School" very differently. Their past experiences have taught them that the classroom is a place of failure and frustration; the school bus represents a daily ritual of rejection and bullying; and the playground is haunted with memories of rejection and isolation. As you read this, many of your incoming students are experiencing great dread and anxiety as they anticipate those first days in a new classroom. They know, through bitter experience, that their academic skills and social competence will be sorely tested . . . and often they will not be equal to the challenge. Thus, the 180 day cycle of failure begins once again . . . As teachers, we must understand and accommodate for the significant anxiety that our students face as they enter the school year. Here at Riverview, we have hung a sign in the Teachers' Coffee Area to serve as a daily reminder of the role that teachers can play in the lives of their students. It reads: "Coming to school every day can become a hopeless task for some children unless they succeed at what they do. We teachers are sentries against that hopelessness." Below are some strategies, techniques, procedures and inspirations that may help in getting your school year off to a constructive and supportive start:
Don't wait until they come to you. Communication is an ACTIVE - not a PASSIVE - process.
Sometimes we get so focused on (a) and (b) that we forget about (c).
You will be the topic of conversation at many dinner tables that evening. ("I like my new teacher. She talked to me today.") Kids feel so anonymous in school. This technique recognizes their individuality and worth. What a great first impression!
However, give every kid a chance to "wipe the slate clean" and start each school year off fresh. I was a bad boy in fourth grade. I remember entering my fifth grade classroom on the first day of school and being met by my scowling new teacher . . . "I've heard about you, Richard. If you think that you are going to get away with misbehavior in my class, you have another think coming . . . BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" What a motivating way to begin the year! She thought that she was preventing future problems. WRONG! She just threw down the gauntlet. My fifth grade year was worse than my fourth!
NOTE: All classroom rules should be stated positively ("Respect each other"), not negatively ("No Swearing"). Tell 'em what you want 'em to do, not what you don't want 'em to do.
HAVE A GREAT SCHOOL YEAR!! THE KIDS DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN OUR BEST EFFORTS. To paraphrase my friend and mentor, Dr. Larry Lieberman: "Teaching has an advantage that few other occupations have. When you are angered and frustrated with your unresponsive principal, the inedible cafeteria lunches, the demanding and unreasonable parents, the ever-decreasing budgets, the chronically malfunctioning photocopy machine, the inevitably tardy book order and the overwhelming paperwork . . . you can always go into your classroom, close the door behind you and BE WITH THE KIDS!!" Commit to yourself that you will focus your energies, attention, time and resources on the kids this year. That's why we're there! Best, Rick |
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Dear Rick, Our school recently appointed a new Principal. He has instituted many changes in policy. I agree with some of his modifications. However, some of his ideas are a bit "off the wall". He continually talks about the use of "Authentic Assessment" as a substitute for the traditional standardized testing that we currently administer. He will be making this change in September. As a Special Education teacher, I am concerned about what effect Authentic Assessment will have on my students. What should I do about this? Sandra in Indiana |
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Dear Sandra, My advice? TAKE YOUR PRINCIPAL OUT TO LUNCH! Authentic Assessment will be a tremendous advantage for your students with Learning Disabilities! This approach will allow and encourage your kids to demonstrate their knowledge and skills in a variety of ways . . . as opposed to the traditional paper-and-pencil assessments! Bravo! Consider. Suppose you were applying for a teaching job in another town. Which of the following would you want the personnel director to consider during your application process? A. Your college transcript, a resume and the scores you achieved on your state's competency test. - OR - B. A portfolio containing all of the above PLUS
I think you could agree that "B" provides a more accurate and positive assessment of your true competence as a teacher! Authentic Assessment allows the student to demonstrate his competencies in myriad ways. Consider the following when comparing Traditional Assessment to Authentic Assessment:
In my opinion, many of the pedagogical practices in the School Reform Movement are bogus. But the Authentic Assessment approach is a child-centered, positive and educationally sound practice. Enjoy your lunch! |
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Dear Rick, I hope you can help! My son, Todd, is entering Kindergarten. We (and his pediatrician) have long suspected that he has attentional problems. His two older brothers, his Dad and several cousins have been diagnosed with Learning Disabilities so I have been advised to closely monitor Todd so he can be placed in special services if he requires it. I have seen several lists of "symptoms" and "developmental milestones". But I need a listing of academic skills that a child should master by the end of Kindergarten so I can evaluate his readiness for first grade. Can you help? Mom in Alaska |
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Dear Amanda, I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a duck." That's rather a sardonic view, but parenting can get pretty rough in the summertime! Without the structure and expectations of school, kids with learning and attentional problems can have considerable difficulty. Each June at Riverview, I conduct a seminar to help parents prepare for the summer months. Some highlights:
Rule of Thumb: Continue medication use if, a) he is driving, b) he is attending camp or summer school, c) if external controls are lessened (e.g., he will be home alone a lot), d) behavioral improvements allow the family to function better, and, e) the medication controls impulsivity, anger or frustration. You may want to discontinue medication if, a) you are concerned about growth/weight, b) the child has a strong desire to discontinue, or c) the pediatrician recommends it.
REMEMBER: "The ability to work as a child surpasses all other childhood variables in predicting adult mental health, success and interpersonal relationships."
Good luck . . . only two months until the school bells ring!! |
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Dear Rick, My family and I go to the seashore for a week each summer. I always bring two "trash novels" and one professional book with me. Is there a book that you could recommend? I work with adolescents and young adults with special needs. Ellen R. |
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Dear Ellen, Have a nice vacation! I can't help you much with selecting a trashy novel, but I have a new favorite professional book that I am recommending to my colleagues. It is Learning to Listen: Positive Approaches and People with Difficult Behaviors by Herbert Lovett (Paul H. Brookes Publishing). Dr. Lovett reminds us of the importance of listening . . . REALLY listening . . . to our students and clients. I learned much from this entertaining and stimulating book and I recommend it highly Oftentimes, a child's behavior will appear to be totally irrational and unproductive. But if you ask him to explain the reasons for his behavior - and you really listen to his explanation - the behavior may actually be quite rational and productive. Just last week, a student was sent to my office for disobeying a teacher's instructions. He had asked permission to use the bathroom but left the building instead. Initially, it appeared that he was deliberately deceptive. But after I listened . . . really listened . . . to his explanation, it became obvious that his seeming irrational, unproductive behavior was actually quite rational and productive. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lavoie," he explained, "but I don't know how to use the lock on the toilet stall in Clear Hall . . . but the one in the Helmsman Center is easy. So I go there to use the bathroom." I learned an important lesson about the value of listening several years ago while I was working in a summer program. Three times each summer we took the campers to an amusement park to enjoy a day of rides and cotton candy. On the morning of the third trip, the van keys mysteriously disappeared. Despite a ninety minute search, the keys could not be located and the excursion to the amusement park was reluctantly canceled. Later in the day, the missing keys were found hidden in Scott's room. Scott was a seventeen year old camper. Scott had an unusual syndrome which gave him distinctive facial features, a very short and stocky stature and a speech impediment. He was generally a well-behaved and compliant kid. He was popular with the other students. This type of behavior was very, very uncommon for him. I called Scott into my office and told him how disappointed I was in his actions. I reminded him that, by hiding the keys, he had spoiled a much-anticipated outing for his friends. I confronted him with a barrage of guilt and disappointment. Only after this onslaught, I finally asked him WHY he had stolen and hidden the keys. He cast his eyes downward and said, "I had to, Mr. Lavoie. I am the oldest kid at camp . . . and the shortest. Every time we go to the amusement park, the lady doesn't let me go on the rides because I'm not tall enough. Some of the ten year old girls are allowed on the rides . . . but I'm always told 'no'. It's so embarrassing. I just couldn't go through that again. So I hid the keys. I'm sorry." I learned much that day. I learned to listen. Scott's behavior seemed to be purposeless and unproductive. From his perspective, the behavior had a real purpose and was both productive and successful. As parents and caregivers, we simply don't listen well to kids. The less we listen, the more kids rebel. It is widely known that repressive organizational or political systems lead to aggression and revolution. People want to he heard. They want to be listened to. If they feel that their concerns and opinions are not heard, they will rebel. Below are some tips on listening . . . really listening . . . to kids:
Non-reinforcing body language: When you fail to make direct eye contact with the speaker or you continue to conduct another activity while "listening", you send the message that the speaker's message is not important. "Kitchen Sinking": This occurs when a parent cites numerous past incidents or conflicts when discussing an issue (e.g., "This is just like the time in 1998 when you borrowed my favorite tie and . . . and I'll never forget when you borrowed my drill and lost all the bits . . . and . . . etc., etc.) "Sparring": This ineffective technique consists of a verbal fist fight wherein an exchange of "blows" occurs.
And on, and on, and on. It is important to listen to our kids. They have much to say and listening may be the only means by which we can gain valuable information about their needs, opinions, values and feelings. Learn to listen . . . and listen to learn. |
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Dear Rick, My son is seven years old and has been diagnosed as LD/ADD. His teacher uses Time Out - a lot - to change Mikey's behavior but it doesn't seem to be working. What do you think of this procedure? Jane L. |
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Dear Jane, I am not a big fan of traditional Time Out procedures and I think that this strategy is overused and abused in classrooms. It can be effective with SOME kids, SOME of the time . . . but this powerful tool must be used cautiously and sparingly. Firstly, think of the underlying message that you send to a child when you place him in Time Out. You are clearly communicating CONDITIONAL (as opposed to UNconditional) love. Your message is "I want to spend time with you ONLY when you are compliant and responsive. When you are not . . . I don't want you around." This is a powerful message to send. And one that we use exclusively with kids. How long would your marriage last if you sent your spouse into "exile" each time his behavior offended or upset you? Some thoughts on this common strategy:
Example: Meghan is kicking the other kids under the Reading Table (negative behavior) and the kids are laughing about it (positive reinforcement). You send Meghan to "the corner" ... not as a punishment but merely to remove the reinforcement she is receiving for her disruptive behavior. Get it?
Follow the lead of the National Hockey League: "That's high sticking, Pierre! In the Penalty Box for five minutes." NOT "That's high sticking, Pierre! In the Penalty Box . . . you can come out when you think that you're ready to be a good little defenseman!"
This approach provides the child with three specific opportunities to comply. If he does comply, welcome him warmly back into the group and praise him for making a sound decision. I suggest that you view this three-step process as sequential. That is, follow the sequence when EJECTING a child and also upon his return (e.g., "I am glad you have returned from seeing Mr. Perron. Let's have you sit over there for a few minutes. We will slowly move you back into the activity."
In summary, I am not a big proponent of Time Out. I think that we should use more humane and more effective approaches. For many ADD kids, four minutes is an eternity! Time Out may not meet the Supreme Court's definition of "cruel and unusual punishment . . . but it's close! A teacher once told me, "I timed-out this kid three times a day for a month and his behavior still didn't change!" Circle the Slow Learner in this picture! |
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Dear Rick, I recently attended your presentation in British Columbia and enjoyed every minute of it! You have inspired me to become a professional speaker as well. I have lots of good ideas and philosophies that I would like to share with my colleagues. How do I break into the speakers circuit? Edward G. |
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Dear Edward, Thanks for the kind words. The audience in Surrey, British Columbia was a very responsive one and I truly enjoyed myself in your beautiful province. Plus, you can buy Coffee Crip candy bars in Canada . . . they are unavailable in the United States! I always return from the provinces with a case of them! Un grand format friandise! I am a strong believer in the power of "ripple effect". When I was a classroom teacher, I was able to reach thirty kids each year. That's great! There is no more noble way to make a living! But I soon realized that I had some philosophies and ideas that I wanted to share. I had great faith in these concepts and I thought that they would benefit my colleagues and their students. So I started speaking at schools. This has become one of the great pleasures of my life and career. I will sometimes fly into a town on a Friday night exhausted from a long week here at Riverview. I often doubt that I will find the energy to address the audience of 500 for several hours on Saturday. But when you step onto the stage and look out over the sea of faces . . . colleagues and parents who have surrendered valuable weekend time in order to learn more about the battles that their kids face daily, you suddenly get a burst of energy and off you go. As I look out over a crowd, I remind myself that each member of the audience represents thirty kids whom they work with daily. Therefore, my efforts that day could potentially impact the lives of 15,000 kids whom I will never meet. A good feeling! Any professional (or parent) who is interested in advocating for kids should consider doing seminars or workshops. Below are some suggestions that may be helpful to you if you want to "spread the word":
If you want to enhance the audience's KNOWLEDGE,
use: If you want to change the audience's ATTITUDE,
use: If you wish to change their BEHAVIOR, use: Good luck! |
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I have a very wise and affable friend named Ed Moore. We worked together for many years and I often benefited from his pithy wisdom and insight. One morning, I was very frustrated by an unusual number of glitches and problems. I passed Ed in the hallway and he sensed my angst. He stopped me to inquire. "Oh, I'm all right," I responded, "Today's just a lousy day." "Ah, my friend," he parried, "A piece of sage advice . . . NEVER JUDGE A DAY UNTIL THE EVENING!" I was both impressed and comforted by his advice and did all in my power to improve my circumstances during the balance of the day. A few days later, eleven-year-old Andrew was sent to my office at midmorning for classroom misbehavior. He looked harried and frustrated and told me that he was having an "awful day." Seizing the opportunity to use my newfound wisdom, I put my hand gently on his should and said in a comforting voice, "Andrew, my boy . . . NEVER JUDGE A DAY UNTIL THE EVENING." With that, I sent him on his way. At ten o'clock that evening, my phone rang at home. The voice on the other end said, "Mr. Lavoie, this is Andrew. It's evening now. I'm going to bed. And today STUNK!!" Can't win 'em all!! |
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Dear Rick, I have seen the F.A.T. City video several times in my graduate classes. I finally bought a copy of my own, which I lend to parents of my students. The response is always positive. A friend of mine heard you speak in Arizona and told me that you shared the story of the "history" of F.A.T. City but she couldn't remember the details. Would you share the story with me? Thanks. Keep up the good work Emily P. |
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Interesting question, Nancy. The success of F.A.T. City has been both overwhelming and humbling for me. When we produced the video in 1988, we never anticipated that it would enjoy the international success that it has! The video has received numerous awards and tens of thousands have been distributed throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Australia. It is humbling for me to realize that - as you read this sentence - someone, somewhere is watching the video and learning from it. The germ of the idea for the Workshop came in 1973. I was a first-year teacher at a small, residential school for kids with Learning Disabilities in Central Massachusetts. The ink was not-yet-dry on my diploma when I found myself assigned to teach the illusive Language Arts to groups of kids with significant learning problems. Among my students was a thirteen year old boy named Craig. He was a bright kid but his severe dyslexia prevented him from learning to read and write effectively. He was assigned to me for forty minutes daily as a one-to-one tutorial. It was my job to teach him how to read, write and spell. No small task for a twenty-one year old neophyte! At the conclusion of our class one day, I gave Craig a blank sheet of composition paper. His assignment was to write a 200 word composition about his beloved dog. Craig dutifully took the paper to his dormitory room that evening and completed the assignment. He returned the composition to me the next day. I placed it in my briefcase and took it to my apartment that night for correction. After dinner that evening, I removed Craig's composition from my briefcase and began my correction ritual. I scrutinized Craig's writings for any and all punctuation, capitalization or grammatical errors. Every error was then highlighted with my red pencil! (I destroyed all my red pencils in 1975 . . . and I suggest that you do the same!) By the time I was finished, there were more red marks on the paper than there were blue. I walked into class the next day and was pleasantly surprised to see Craig sitting there awaiting my arrival. This was unprecedented! Craig was generally on time for class . . . but never early! He rushed to me excitedly: "Did you read my composition last night, Mr. Lavoie? Did you like it? How did I do?" "Sure, I liked it Craig." I responded. "You used some of your new vocabulary words and your margins were GREAT... but we need to talk about some of the mistakes that you made . . . " With that, I removed Craig's composition from my briefcase . . . now he is seeing it for the first time since I had gotten my hand on it! I could see the tears of disappointment welling up in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong. "I know that those are real mistakes on the paper, Mr. Lavoie. And I know it's your job to correct them. But last night I spent an extra half-hour just proofreading that composition. I read it and re-read it . . . and I thought that it was PERFECT . . . and look at all the mistakes that I missed. It's just so frustrating." With that, I put my hand on his shoulder, looked into his eyes and said the dumbest thing that I have ever said to a special needs kid and I have never said it since. I said, "Craig, I know how you feel . . ." He immediately bristled, pushed my hand away and glared at me. "The hell you do!" he bellowed. "Don't you dare tell me that you know how I feel because you don't have ANY IDEA how I feel . . ." He stormed out of my classroom . . . hurt, bewildered and very angry. A great insight came to me that day. I
came to realize that there is a great and significant irony in
the field of education. One that we must confront and understand.
Namely: I delivered the workshop to regional schools for years as an inservice presentation. One session was attended by Jayne and Bud Schiff. They were parents of two children with learning disabilities, and were touched and moved by the workshop. Bud, an insurance executive who doesn't know the meaning of the word "impossible," decided that the workshop must be videotaped in order to spread the message to a wider audience. He found corporate sponsors, an Emmy Award winning director . . . and the rest is - as they say - history. How Difficult has been screened at the White House and has become a staple in teacher training programs throughout North America. Thanks to Bud's tenacity and Jayne's sensitivity, the video has made a difference! |
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Dear Rick, My 10 year old son, Gregory, has significant learning disabilities, but he is also Gifted and Talented. He has all the characteristics for both classifications. There are six other families with similar kids in our school. The principal will not allow my son (or the others) to join the G.A.T. classes because of the learning disability. I think this is unfair and I am considering a lawsuit. I love your videos and I even visited Riverview School on Cape Cod once. I respect your opinion and I need your advice. HELP! Paulette H. |
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Dear Paulette, Thanks for your kind words about my work. I hope you still like me after you have read my response . . . but you might not. You see, I am not a big believer in the label of "Gifted and Talented Learning Disabled". I have been in the field for nearly thirty years and have met only a handful (six? seven?) kids who TRULY meet the criteria for this label. Interestingly, I received twelve letters this month alone from parents who are "sure" that their kid is GAT/LD. I am reminded of Lake Woebegon where, "The women are beautiful, the men are strong and all of the children are above average!" H-m-m-m As I said earlier, GAT/LD kids DO exist . . . but they are rare. My bias regarding this issue is, as follows: Are there a lot of BRIGHT kids with Learning Disabilities? Yes Are there a lot of Learning Disabled kids with unique talents (i.e., athletics, music, art, etc.)? Yes Are there a lot of Learning Disabled kids with hidden talents that are obscured by their Learning Disorder? Yes Are there a lot of GAT/LD kids? No You see, in order to meet the TRUE criteria of Giftedness, THREE characteristics must be simultaneously present: I HIGH IQ - average or above average on valid measures (Genius Category is not required!) II CREATIVITY - a readily-observable ability to think (and act!) creatively and divergently. III TASK COMMITMENT - an ability and a willingness to work inexhaustibly on a task until it is completed and all possible outcomes have been explored. Many, many kids with Learning Disabilities manifest Trait I. Lots of kids with Learning Disabilities clearly demonstrate Trait II. But . . . very, very few kids with Learning Disabilities consistently manifest Trait III! Their impulsivity, distractibility and lack of impulse control often derail their ability to maintain purposeful focus for extended periods. Therefore, most kids with Learning Disabilities would not benefit from traditional Gifted programming . . . in fact, they would find it quite frustrating. It is not uncommon for GAT programs to expect kids to work for hours on one problem, project or task. Are you really acting in the child's best interests to "shoehorn" him into a program where he really doesn't fit? All that being said, what CAN we do for the Learning Disabled child who also possesses special talents or advanced intellect? Some thoughts:
All of these are indicative of advanced intellect.
Bright students with Learning Disabilities often have difficulty with organizational skills, self esteem, reaction time and frustration tolerance.
Again, Paulette, I am not denying the existence of GAT/LD kids. They do exist. I've seen some. But there just aren't that many of them. Encourage your school to group bright Learning Disabled kids together. They often learn much from each other. Best of luck to Gregory. He is lucky to have you in his corner. |
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Dear Rick, I am a Special Education teacher in the town where we live. My husband is a police officer who specializes in juvenile crime. He feels that many of the youthful offenders that cross his path have learning disabilities. He has used your videos (How Difficult Can This Be? and When the Chips are Down) with his colleagues and the films have been very useful. Thanks. Could you give us some practical advice on dealing with kids with learning disabilities in law enforcement situations? Joan W. |
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Dear Joan, An unusual question . . . but a valuable one. As you know, the link between learning disabilities and juvenile delinquency is undeniable. The venerable Dorothy Crawford of the Learning Disabilities Association had published pioneering work in this area several decades ago. It is critically important that all members of the law enforcement community (i.e., judges, prosecutors, police, etc.) gain an understanding of the significant impact that learning disorders can have upon young people and their interactions with the judicial system. Juvenile crime is a STRIKE ONE . . . STRIKE TWO . . . STRIKE THREE concept for youths with learning disorders: STRIKE ONE: Kids with learning disabilities are more likely to become involved in crime (due to the inability to secure meaningful employment, dropout rates, poor judgment, etc.). STRIKE TWO: They are more likely than their nondisabled peers to get caught when they commit a crime (due to poor planning, etc.). STRIKE THREE: They are likely to receive stiffer sentences than their nondisabled peers for the same offense (due to their inability to deal effectively with the language and comprehension demands of the judicial process). Needless to say, having a learning or cognitive disorder does not excuse criminal behavior. However, it is in everyone's best interest that law enforcement officials and criminal justice representatives are able to recognize, communicate with and better understand youths who have the "Hidden Handicap." This is particularly important for the police officer who is in the "front line" of the process. When dealing with a person with a learning disorder (LD, Developmental Disabilities, Autism, etc.), the police officer should be mindful of the following:
I hope this helps. Readers . . . you may want to share this information with your favorite police officer. It might be helpful to one of your kids someday! Note: Some of this material was obtained via the Developmental Disabilities Area Board in Escondido, California. |
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"In the time since I wrote my February column, I have had speaking engagements in California, North Carolina, New Jersey and Nevada. Everywhere I have visited, parents and professionals have been discussing the troubling governmental report that demonstrated a 300% increase in the use of Ritalin for three and four year olds. Even the First Lady weighed in on the controversy! This situation is troubling. BUT who is to blame? Over-ambitious parents? Impatient Day Care workers? Quick draw pediatricians? All of the above? Ritalin is a very effective - but powerful - medication and its administration should not be taken lightly. I feel that the "Kiddie Ritalin" crisis is one of our own making and it, largely, is caused by the unrealistic and developmentally-inappropriate expectations that we hold for our preschool children. Consider. When you and I were four years old, what was our life like? We hung around the house with a sibling or two and our Mom. We played, took walks, watched some TV and had the run of our house. No rules. No regulations. No structure. No expectations. Our job description was, simply, "Being a Kid". Today's four-year-old has a very different daily existence. Day care or Preschool requires kids to sit still, color, sing, dance and play "on command". Their days are structured and regimented. Compliance is expected. Responsiveness is demanded. Are these kids developmentally prepared for such an environment at 48 months old? I think not. We place unrealistic demands on our little ones . . . and then medicate them so they can comply. Whose needs are we meeting? Theirs or ours? America's preschools have become inappropriately demanding and competitive. If we refuse to be mindful of what our developmental psychologists have taught us . . . let's at least remember the sage words of Shel Silverstein: I'd rather play at Hug O'War Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs And everyone giggles and rolls on the rug And everyone tickles and everyone grins And everyone's happy and everyone wins. |
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Dear Rick, I have a seventeen year old daughter in a residential placement. Throughout her school years she has performed much better both academically and socially in test situations than she can produce in real life situations. For example, now in her social skills classes, she can "read" social situations, is very intuitive and functions very well, yet there is not much carry over into real life situations. She has been faced with, "You did it in therapy, so I know you can do it, you are choosing not to." all her life. While this school specializes in kids with these problems, I still see some of this, "You are choosing not to do it." attitude. Do you have any suggestions to help with carry over of skills learned in therapeutic situations into everyday life? Cathy |
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Dear Cathy, Your letter confirms a long-held belief of mine: FORMAL SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING IS OF LIMITED VALUE FOR MANY KIDS WITH LEARNING PROBLEMS! Trying to learn social skills "in the classroom" is akin to trying to learn tennis "in the classroom". There are certainly some tennis skills that you can learn in a sterile classroom environment . . . but you will never truly master tennis until you get our on the court and hit that yellow ball around. So it is with social skills! Our kids have tremendous difficulty generalizing and utilizing the skills (academic OR social) that they learn in isolation. You can review "bus conduct rules" in the classroom all day long and the kids will demonstrate their mastery of these skills. But there is no guarantee that they will utilize these skills when they board that school bus for the trip home. It is for this reason that I feel so strongly in the use of Social Skill Autopsies. This strategy is outlined and demonstrated in my second PBS/WETA video, Last One Picked, First One Picked On: The Social Implications of Learning Disabilities. This approach encourages the child to analyze actual social incidents that have actually occurred and determine responses that would be appropriate for that situation. This "hands on" approach has been very successful with kids and is being utilized by parents and professionals throughout North America, Europe and Australia. It works! Some of the best approaches to generalizing Social Skills have been done by Arnold P. Goldstein, Ph.D. He encourages adults to create a social setting that closely replicates the environment where the target skill will be utilized. If you want to teach "dining out skills" . . . conduct the lesson in a restaurant. If you are teaching appropriate assembly behavior . . . conduct the lesson in the auditorium! Goldstein also emphasizes the importance of reinforcement systems in the generalization process. It is critically important that the developing social skills be continually recognized and reinforced. Remember the sage adage: "Behavior that is reinforced is repeated!" When providing social skill instruction or guidance, you can improve the chances of successful generalization by utilizing Instructed Generalization. This method requires the adult to describe specific social situations when the targeted skill will be used (e.g., "Now we are going to discuss the proper way to wait in line. This skill can be used in the cafeteria and even at the movie theater on weekends . . . ") Goldstein suggests using "homework" to assist students in generalizing target social skills. When you are focusing on a specific skill (e.g., not interrupting) discuss with the child various outside-of-school situations where this skill may be useful (e.g., at the breakfast table, in the car, when Dad is on the phone, etc.) Ask him to be very mindful of using this skill in those settings and require him to "report back" to you in a day or so and tell you about his use of that skill in those settings. It would be timely to discuss the concept of "focused corrections" in relation to social skill instruction. The "focused correction" strategy has been effectively used for years by Language Arts teachers. Basically, the instructor focuses on one sub-skill of an assignment and you inform the student that you will focus on that skill when the assignment is evaluated (e.g., "Taylor, I want you to write a 200 word composition about your favorite pet. I want you to really pay attention to your use of capital letters as you write. When I correct your paper with you, we will focus on that specific skill.") In this way, the child focuses his energy on that sub-skill. This strategy has been very helpful for teachers attempting to improve specific language concepts. I recommend the use of this technique when teaching social skills, as well. I recall overhearing the conversation between an ADD child and his mother once at a family restaurant. Ninety-percent of their exchanges were corrective! The kid received a barrage of instructions, corrections and mini-scoldings ("Sit up straight; close your mouth when you chew; wrong spoon; cut that before you eat it; pick up the napkin, etc., etc., etc.) Sound familiar?!? Try this instead: "Bill, it's time to sit down for supper. Tonight let's focus on the volume of your voice. Try real hard to keep your voice at an appropriate level. I will call it to your attention when you get too loud." During the meal, virtually ignore the other social errors (e.g., the napkin, mouth open when chewing, etc.) Just focus on the volume. You will be pleasantly surprised at how effective this strategy is. Interestingly, all the social skills improve because the child is focusing his attention on being appropriate. Be sure to reinforce and praise him at the end of the meal. This procedure works . . . and it surely beats an hour of non-stop nagging! Good luck, Cathy! |
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Hi, A few years ago I learned about the "Poker Chip Theory". I now teach at the local university and cannot remember the theory in its entirety. Could you refresh my memory? Thanks. Dawn |
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Dear Dawn, The "Poker Chip Concept" is not actually a "theory". It's simply an analogy that I have used for years to illustrate how self-concept develops. A full explanation is featured in the conclusion of my PBS/WETA video, "When the Chips are Down". I had long-struggled to find an analogy to help adults understand self-concept. We have all attended workshops wherein the speaker explains the consequences of low self-concept and then instructs us to "go thee forward and increase the self-concept of your children". Great. But how do you do that? How do you make a kid feel good about himself? The "Poker Chip Analogy" might be helpful. Basically, I compare Adult Life to a giant poker game. In order to play in this "game", you must enter adulthood with many piles of "poker chips" (self-concept). Without these chips, you are unable to take risks, bet or even ante-up in the "game of life". Adults with a lot of poker chips have a great self-concept. Those with a poor self-concept have a meager pile of chips. Now, how did these folks get their chips? They got them during childhood and adolescence. Basically, when good things happen to you (e.g., success, victory, praise . . . ) you RECEIVE poker chips. When bad things happen to you (failure, frustration, criticism), you LOSE chips. Simple. Try to imagine that each interaction between you and a child is, actually, an exchange of poker chips. For example, "Daniel, you did a great job cleaning
out that back pack. I am very pleased!" Sean, I can't believe how loud you were
at the supermarket. Do you enjoy embarrassing me? Don't ever
ask to come with me again." See how it works? Now, our jobs as parents and teachers is basically simple. WE NEED TO BE CERTAIN THAT EVERY KID WHO CROSSES OUR PATH HAS MORE CHIPS AT THE END OF THE DAY THAN HE HAD AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY!! Simple. And how do you do that? Praise a lot. Reinforce a lot. Recognize a lot. Reward a lot. Scold seldom. Embarrass seldom. |